Some Milestones, Pictures, and the end of a Season

My patient friends and family, I am SO overdue to post some pictures and updates...

Here is our beautiful smiley boy hamming it up and loving his exersaucer. I love his toothless grin!

As always, here he is sucking his fingers, and as many as he can fit in his hand at one time. Milestone: I see a little white dot on his gum, and I betcha a tooth will appear soon enough! He has had some fussy moments, but over all, tooth pain seems to pale in comparison to GI/allergy tummy trouble, and so we are grateful that it hasn't been so bad. We get slobbered a lot, but we receive it in love!

Here I am with my little man. We were trying to capture him resting his head on my shoulder, but when daddy pulled out the camera he suddenly perked up and needed to check out what was going on. He is so cuddly, and I love those moments.

And here he is with more fingers in his mouth again, but this time with his mouth (and thus fingers) covered with baby food! Our job is to protect his jammies from the messy fingers. Daddy is much more diligent than mommy.

Milestones, and the end of a season:
1) He is sitting up! It is hard to capture on film since I am still providing "fall back" support and I can't really get a good vantage point for a photo, but take my word for it, he is sitting up! Oh, my big boy. I can't hardly believe it. I welled up with tears the first time he did it - so glad he is growing and learning as he should, but sad to see the baby stage passing so quickly.
2) He has gained considerable weight. Yesterday he weighed in at 16 lbs 1.5 oz. (That is still around the 10th percentile for his age.) We thank God for the growth in our baby. As I look at his pictures from just a couple months ago, it is obvious how his little
3) As mentioned above, teeth are almost peeking through
4) As for the "end of a season," just days before Blake's 7 month birthday, with great sadness I must say that I think I am going to wean Blake...

Even though I have taken dairy and soy out of my diet, it still seems that something in my diet or in my milk is bothering his little belly. At night, in particular, he has a lot of gas and squirms uncomfortably when he wakes up to eat. I can't figure out what it is, and realistically I don't know if I can take anything else out of my diet. The doctor has given me the freedom to continue to nurse as I supplement with formula, since Blake is gaining weight well, but she also said that she thinks that his tummy trouble will be relieved if I move to all formula, and it will probably help him sleep much better.

So, it gets to the point where I feel like I am being selfish to continue to nurse, if bottle-feeding him formula would give him relief and a good night's sleep. Mike and I agreed that I would try switching to all formula for a couple days to see if it helps - I am pumping while we give him almost exclusively (prescription) formula. It breaks my heart, however, as I consider that I might never nurse my little boy again. I never anticipated what a sweet bonding experience nursing would be, and for the past 7 months I have nursed him 8-11 times a day, for 20-50 minutes at a time. Generally, when I nurse him I don't like to do anything else (not talk on the phone, not read, not watch TV, etc) because I just like to watch him. But that sweet season seems to be coming to an end, and I will sorely miss our special time together.

I am very emotional about the whole thing, and tears come quickly and often as I think about the while thing, or as I hold the baby and give him a bottle. I would be grateful for your prayers. I pray that we can see a difference in the little boy quickly to confirm if it is best to switch to formula. It is difficult to pump as we "wait and see" and it takes self-control not to break down and nurse him. Mike is presently helping with bottles at night, because at night the baby smells me and is less eager to take the bottle from me (but I hear that will change). It just seems so wrong to give him water mixed with powder in a bottle when I could nurse him. I had definitely hoped to nurse for a year and gradually wean at that point, but I want to do what is best for him. I am also considering whether I want to keep nursing once or twice a day, but if I do that it means I need to maintain my "dairy-free, soy-free" diet, and that is difficult; it would probably serve my body to wean completely. It is hard to discern what is selfish and what is seeking to serve the little boy - does it serve him to nurse or serve him to give him formula?

And I want to believe that he will still love me, that we will still share other special bonding moments as he grows and changes, and that this is all a good part of my little baby growing up and me serving him. But I miss my baby boy already.