Mike and I decided that it didn't make sense for me to maintain my dairy-free and soy-free diet given that I was only nursing Blake once or twice a day (he is on formula most of the time). And the "once or twice a day" was more to serve me, since I wanted the special time with my baby. But we were suspicious that someting in my milk was still causing some tummy trouble for Blake, and I didn't think I could reasonably take anything else out of my diet. I don't want my baby to hurt, so I agreed that it would be best to give him all formula at this point.
So, after nursing Blake mid-morning I decided I was willing to make it the last time. And to dull my pain, and as a celebration of sorts, my husband rushed me off to Dairy Queen, where I had my first dairy-anything since December 8th; a milk shake AND a blizzard. So my milk is now contaminated with the dairy protein that Blake is allergic to, and I can't nurse Blake without it causing pretty significan belly aches for him.
This afternoon (after the Dairy Queen run) Blake grabbed at my shirt a couple times as if he wanted to nurse, which has been uncommon in the last couple of weeks where I have nursed only a couple times a day. I'm glad he wants his Mama but I was very sad that I couldn't nurse him. Then to throw salt in my wounds tonight Blake cried and cried when I tried to put him to sleep, something he hasn't done for a number of days - right away I feared that he was cutting his teeth and he might scream for hours and I couldn't comfort him. But Mike stepped in to help put him to sleep and Blake went right to sleep for him. I need to trust God for when those teeth come in, and believe that Mike and I made the right decision to stop nursing and change my diet.
I already miss my baby, but I pray that this is best for him and for me.
2 comments:
Glad it's going well so far! YUM - that DQ stuff looks good!
sarah, i really feel for you!!! i never enjoyed breastfeeding, but stopping the bottle with william was really difficult for me. i had as much of a bonding time with him just giving him the bottle as i did nursing. anyway, i know it's difficult, but there is grace for it. and if you and mike know you are being faithful to blake by doing it, the Lord will bless that and provide other times for you to bond with your baby boy. =) it is great to see all that the Lord is teaching you. slowly letting go at every stage they walk through is hard, but with every release, God's faithfulness is there. may you have many more precious moments with your little monkey!! =)
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