Trusting God for a Baby in Pain (still)

This is just no-photo post to say that the improvement in Blake's reflux was short-lived.

Starting yesterday evening when we put him to sleep he was again in noticable pain, last night he woke up multiple times to eat and had a hard time getting to sleep each time because he was clearly uncomfortable. All day yesterday he was not been himself - giggles and smiles are hard to come by, sometimes he coughs when I put him down in the infant carrier (never did that before), he screams when we try to just put him to sleep without rocking him, he wriggles in our arms when we try to rock him to sleep because he hurts, and we can literally hear the reflux in his chest. It is so hard to see my little one in such pain, and I am wracking my brain to figure out what has changed in just a couple of days.

Last night, based on our feedback (and another desperate phone call from yours truly), the doctor has raised his dosage amount of the new med, and we going to hang in there for a couple days more in hopes that this new med can offer consistent help. In a moment of desperation tonight I decided to give him his old med, and he instantly calmed down...just to confuse me, I think. (I also think he likes the taste of the generic syrup of Zantac much more than the new generic form of Pepcid.) The doctor said he should NOT respond that quickly, and after a short nap in my arms as I was trying to put him down he again started to scream.

All the while God is gently reminding me that I need to lean on Him for Blake's relief, and not depend on doctors or medicine or what I eat or don't eat. God is sovereign and good even through our baby's pain and he is somehow equipping me (although I feel woefully ill-equipped) to care for this little one. I must confess I am not believing it very well some of the time, but it requires that I stay dependent on Him, and that is right where God wants me to be.

Just a tip, if anyone else is in the boat where they have to pay out of pocket for meds (and these reflux meds are VERY expensive), we found that these meds are offered over the counter in pill form for adults, at a fraction of the cost. After some discussion with the pharmacist and Blake's doctor we learned that we could smash the OTC pills, add them to the right amount of water, and make our own medicine coctail. It doesn't taste as good as the syrup, but Blake will still take it.  (Sorry, Blake, we've decided that it isn't worth $170 for your medicine to be yummy!)